


Working hard enough (vent fic)

by donprisciotte



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: During Canon, Gen, Introspection, Leaderboard Drama, No Dialogue, Project Freelancer, not a shitpost fic for once but eh I'll make up for that, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 22:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16880454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donprisciotte/pseuds/donprisciotte
Summary: "Being enough for oneself didn't count, on that ship. If the only voice saying South was enough was her own, she wasn't allowed to listen because all the other voices said otherwise."Sometimes even when you know that the system is unfair, you are not allowed to leave.





	Working hard enough (vent fic)

She wasn't always like this. As much as her rowdy manners were always object of misunderstandings, she wasn't always like this. _Rotten_ like this.  
Agent South Dakota's enthusiasm was enough to move the world twice and she was willing to work hard. Even in her brokenness, she knew her worth and she wanted to make it tangible on the outside. North was going to be proud of her either way, but no one judges hard like family does.  
  
For someone coming from her exact same background, with all the difficulties that came with it, her brother was a hypocrite. He was forced to look after her, even when it wasn't necessary, because it was just the way life shaped him, but he would never admit his sister was a chore. He refused to admit he was angry, so South was the angry one. Yet, if someday he let himself lash out, everyone would understand, while whenever South did they thought she was being selfish.

 So selfish she wouldn't even stop dying her tips purple – yes, even such a harmless act was selfish to them, any hint of quirkiness was just something they saw as a way to ask for attention, something she didn't even want at first. What if she actually wanted attention, for a change? She earned it. She worked hard. Just because nobody bothered to see it, it didn't mean she didn't work hard.  
  
She was tempted to point at the board, because being one of the top agents should have been proof, but it wasn't. Unless you're number one, you're not working hard enough. Even Carolina wasn't enough anymore, she was nothing. Some people just happened to be more nothing than others, so Carolina stealing the AI that was destined to South was fine because even in her being nothing she was always more than South would ever be.  
  
She wished the system being rigged was an excuse, an excuse for all the work she'd done and all the progress she'd made being yanked away every single time, but again, it wasn't. The temptation to let herself go and give up grew stronger everyday, but she refused to listen because she knew she wasn't allowed to listen. Had she been not enough on purpose, it would've still been her fault for not working hard enough. The worst part? Nobody would've been able to tell the difference, anyway.  
  
North being above her on the board just made it worse. She was always going to be in debt, she was always going to owe him her life because he took care of her and helped her. She wasn't allowed to be angry at him for refusing to look through the mirror. She was a mirror and he, too, was nothing. Being enough for oneself didn't count, on that ship. If the only voice saying South was enough was her own, she wasn't allowed to listen because all the other voices said otherwise. She could only keep working and working, to show the hidden light that was as hidden as her brother's nothingness. Yet no matter what, she wasn't working hard enough.

 

 

 


End file.
